Saturday, January 9, 2010



7. Put not off your Cloths in the presence of Others, nor go out your Chamber half Dressed.

Unless one belongs to a nudist colony, keep your clothes on. Personally, when guests are in the house, I always present myself fully clothed. I also turn aside if I happen to be unbuttoned or unzipped.

8. At Play and at Fire its Good manners to Give Place to the last Commer, and affect not to Speak Louder than Ordinary.

Just because one is the last to finish, doesn't mean that they don't deserve praise. After all, he never quit. Congratulate him, however not in the same manner as the victor. A simple "well done" and a pat on the back will be appreciated every time.

9. Spit not in the Fire, nor Stoop low before it neither Put your Hands into the Flames to warm them, nor Set your Feet upon the Fire especially if there be meat before it.

These things are a little more primitive, but may still apply when camping or gathered around a beach fire or even on a patio around the grill. Never spit in the fire because it's just rude. Unless one is alone, don't hover over the fire. It's dangerous for one and secondly, it's greedy to use the fire as one's own. And who really wants to eat food that is grilling next to some one's shoe?

10. When you Sit down, Keep your Feet firm and Even, without putting one on the other or Crossing them.

This rule came about when there were few solid surfaces to walk on. Most of the roads and pathways were combinations of dirt, mud, and horse maneur. Many gentlemen wore boots making it cumbersome to shuffle the feet when sitting. Today, it's just proper form to sit up straight with both feet on the floor, it's a sign of respect.

11. Shift not yourself in the Sight of others nor Gnaw your nails.

I loathe being in the presence of someone who can't be still...and quiet. Gnawing on your nails is accepted if one is nervous or anxious...in private. It's even more annoying when someone graws their fingernails and then spits them out carelessly onto the floor.

12. Shake not the head, Feet, or Legs roll not the Eyes lift not one eyebrow higher than the other wry not the mouth, and bedew no mans face with your Spittle, by approaching too near him when you Speak.

The first part goes back to number eleven...be still! Rolling the eyes and shifting the eyebrow is something I can't help doing. Specially if I am in the presence of the ignorance. Some people just can't be helped, therefore they get the shifting eyebrow followed closely with a rolling of the eye. As for the spitting, I believe that one should never be this close in conversation. Only whispers in the ear allow one to be so close to another...and even this should be reserved for intimate settings.

Monday, January 4, 2010



3. Show Nothing to your Friend that may affright him.

"Friend" may be taken literal or perhaps inclusive of all people. This is a situation when one must know comfort levels of his friends or acquaintances and innocent bystanders. If one's friend is offended by graphic photos of any kind, keep it to yourself. Same goes for language or text. If it would offend one's mother, it's just not appropriate.

4. In the Presence of Others Sing not to yourself with a humming Noise, nor Drum with your Fingers or Feet.

Some say that humming is a sign of happiness, this I believe to be true. However, the line must be drawn when it distracts. As for the drumming of fingers or feet, this is just rude, not to mention incredibly irritating. Keep the drumming in your own residence or join a stomp troupe or request Ritalin from your doctor.

5. If You Cough, Sneeze, Sigh, or Yawn, do it not Loud but Privately; and Speak not in your Yawning, but put Your handkerchief or Hand before your face and turn aside.

Coughing, sneezing, sighing, and yawning simply can't be helped. Today's health professionals advise that we cover our mouths when sneezing or coughing, as not to spread unwanted gerrms. So, for health's sake, cover your mouth and/or nose. In food service and hospitality service it is taught to sneeze and cough into the bend of your inner arm. I have sighed and yawned many times without warning, it's hard to catch them sometimes. Keeping your manners in mind, try to avoid this in public. If a sigh or yawn creeps up, quickly cover your mouth and turn your head following with a "pardon me".

6. Sleep not when others Speak, Sit not when others stand, Speak not when you Should hold your Peace, walk not on when others Stop.

If you are in a conference, at a live theatrical performance, or a poetry reading...even an e conference or call, one shows extreme lack of respect. Stay awake or stay in! Unless you are weak or have trouble standing, never sit when everyone else is standing...even at the dinner table. The host must grant permission or sit first. In the Navy we all learn the value of holding one's tounge. I find it to be very difficult sometimes, as I am simply outspoken. Unless you know your companions well, never leave them behind if they stop. Take a moment to stop with them. If there is urgency, assist your companion and suggest moving on.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

George Washington's Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior


A few months ago, I picked up a copy of George Washington's Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior. The book is a collection of 110 rules George Washington copied by hand as part of a penmanship lesson when he was sixteen years old. Based on rules composed by French Jesuits in 1595, the rules were later translated to English in 1640 by twelve year old Francis Hawkins. Many of the rules seem outdated and silly, but they reflect a culture that is growing more careless and self centered. Basically the rules are small sacrifices we all should be making in order to live with others in a more peaceful and graceful world. They're basic considerations and should be at the core of our values.

I will take a few rules every post and dissect them giving examples to support why these fundamental considerations are a must to practice.

1. Every Action done in Company, ought to be with Some Sign of Respect, to those that are Present.

2. When in Company, put not your Hands to any Part of the Body, not usually Discovered.

Here's the thing, if you're out on the town perhaps at a fundraiser or a social event the last thing you want to do is offend someone. Be respectful to your hosts, other guests, service staff...EVERYONE. Don't make a scene or become loud and rambunctious. Do the right thing, if you can't behave...stay home! This goes for dining out, too. There is nothing worse than a loud, obnoxious diner...if you can't hear the music...you're too loud! Secondly, don't grab yourself or adjust yourself unless you are alone...if your shorts or bra straps are in a bunch, excuse yourself and retire to the facilities. Make no mistake, grabbing yourself in public is offensive.

Respect others...RESPECT YOURSELF!!!